We all have our own paths to walk in life, but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone. Deciding to walk alongside a partner by building a strong, lasting relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences of life.
Creating a new path with a partner can be fun, exciting, and fulfilling. But it also requires a certain amount of compromise. Each person in a relationship has their own needs, beliefs, and goals, and accommodating them isn't always easy.
The truth is that any relationship is bound to go through difficult times. Partners who learn to communicate well and support each other’s goals will enjoy a relationship that is more resilient and meaningful. Let's look at ways you can align your life goals with your partner.
Develop Open and Honest Communication
Communication is key in any type of relationship. This means making a real effort to have open and honest communication with one another during both positive and challenging conversations. When partners are engaged in healthy communication, each person in the relationship has a chance to speak what's on their mind while the other person gives them their full and undivided attention. If communication feels like a struggle, couples therapy can help you and your partner build stronger, more open dialogue.
Making a conscious effort to have quality communication is important. Setting regular check-ins with one another can allow both of you to talk about the progress you're making, address any concerns you may be having, or make the necessary adjustments to your goals so that you both stay focused.
Identify Individual and Shared Goals
A great practice before diving into a goals conversation with your partner is to put aside time for each of you to focus on your own goals. It's good to consider your short-term and long-term goals as well as individual goals and relationship goals. Don't be afraid to write them down.
After you and your partner have taken some time to think about your personal goals, you can set up a time to meet and discuss. While you're speaking with one another, try to find goals that overlap with one another. This can help you stay organized with your individual goals and those that you share as partners.
Set SMART Goals
Make sure that you and your partner are setting goals that aren't out of reach. The goals that you set together should be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Setting SMART goals can help you and your partner stay on track working toward accomplishing these goals instead of feeling overwhelmed or defeated if you feel like aren't making progress.
Be Flexible
Neither partner should feel like they're constantly giving while the other is taking. When you're in a relationship, you have to learn how to compromise and be flexible. Make sure you're working together to find a common middle ground between your individual goals and the goals that each of you has for your relationship.
Be Supportive
There's a good chance that you and your partner won't agree on everything. It's perfectly fine if you and your partner have goals that align with one another and then separate goals that you're working on individually.
Just because they're individual goals doesn't mean that you're in it all on your own. You and your partner should both be supportive of the goals you share together as well as your individual goals. Be one another's cheerleader and support system every step of the way.
Reach Out to a Professional
If you and your partner are struggling with aligning your goals, you're not alone, and it doesn't mean that you're not meant for one another or the relationship isn't going to work. Sometimes an outside perspective is necessary for partners to get back on the same page.
Working with a therapist can help you communicate effectively while resolving conflict along the way. Reach out today to set up an initial consultation.
About the Author
Christian Bumpous, LMFT, LPC is a licensed mental health therapist and founder of Therapie, Nashville’s leading destination for busy professionals seeking to thrive in life, work, and relationships. Christian specializes in helping professionals navigate life transitions, improve relationships, and overcome challenges like depression and anxiety. With a tailored approach that meets the unique needs of high-performing individuals, he offers therapy sessions in both English and German, available in-person or online.
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